Canadian Softball – Awkward & Depressed (2017)


Artist: Candian Softball

Album: Awkward & Depressed

Year: 2017

Genres: Comedy, Emo

Comedy rock doesn’t get enough credit in the music industry. Comedy music legends like Wierd Al Yankovic, Spinal Tap, The Rutles, and Flight of the Conchords will NEVER be compared with the likes nor even said in the same sentence with the likes of Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, or Jimi Hendrix. And of course, it’s obvious why, their music was by no means “legendary”. Their music didn’t change the industry. Their music is just silly and should only be put on for thoughtless cheap laughs. Except it shouldn’t.

Frank Zappa proved that rock music with a tongue-and-cheek approach can add a whole new layer of depth to a song, and not only form a bond with a listener but also keep them coming back for more. I think the problem is that, with rock music, snobs can’t have fun anymore. All their music has to sound as cold and “””experimental””” (extra quotations for that one) as Radiohead and it really is a sad standard that has been set by the industry. But the music industry can’t fully be to blame for this, in fact, I’m not even sure if we can blame them for this at all. If anything, we should be blaming ourselves, the music fans. We’ve put review publication websites like Pitchfork up on this pedestal that allow them to dictate the pretentious artsy-schmartsy taste of easily-swayed /mu/-tants. Music isn’t fun anymore. There’s really nothing to turn to in the present day of music in order for us to laugh and feel happy with. Are albums like “The OOZ” by King Krule and “A Crow Looked At Me” by Mount Eerie really gonna rise your spirits? Yeah, that’s what I thought. We live in an age of self-pity, especially on the internet. But it’s albums like Awkward & Depressed by Jared Alonge’s comedy rock project, Canadian Softball, that come by to help us all out a little…

So, as you can tell, Canadian Softball is a parody of the popular midwest emo band, American Football. And Jared Alonge doesn’t just stop at parodying and poking fun at the title of a popular midwest emo band, he mocks and satirises the entire midwest emo genre. And it is absolutely brilliant. Midwest emo is a genre filled with endless potential for parody, yet, no-one has really decided to really come along and fill their position as the “Emo parody guy”. And it is unknown whether or not Jared Alonge wishes to fulfil that spot either, but if not, he’s definitely warmed it up for someone with this album.

The album starts off with the opening track, Average Joe, which hilariously makes fun of how Emo front-men present themselves as an everyday loser kid in their lyrics, even though you know they’re just living it up as teenage Tumblr girl heartthrobs. From the first strum of the guitar on this album, this album just sums up the sound of Emo music brilliantly. Sing-along choruses with the highest amount of polish available on the production board, whiny vocals of a “misunderstood” outcast, relatable lyrics, math rock riffs, everything you could possibly ever want and need from an Emo parody album.

Speaking of math rock, the third track on here, Mathematical (one of the best tracks on the album), hilariously makes fun of math rock with the singer constantly flaunting off his superior mathematical skills, his light voice, unnecessary tempo changes that make no sense, and at the end, quote unquote, “musical gibberish”. Hey man, they were only jamming out…

(Also, a quick mention to Mumble, the track on here that probably made me laugh the hardest out of all the tracks. As you can probably guess by the title, the entire song is the singer mumbling seemingly in-coherent nonsense, which I already thought was funny enough, but after looking up the actual lyrics, the song was only made all the more hilarious. I won’t say what the lyrics actually are, since I don’t want to spoil the laugh, but I personally found it absolutely hilarious. Anyway, on with the review.)

When I first listened to this album with my friend sitting beside me, I pounced in pure shock when I found that Jared Alonge actually decided to do a cover of one of Emo’s most popular (and best) songs, Sunny Day Real Estate’s Seven. Showing that for how much Jared is making fun of the Emo genre here, he still obviously appreciates and loves the genre which made me inexplicably happy for some reason.

You know, I actually wrote more here but I decided to delete it, because I think that instead of analysing more of the tracks, you should just go listen to it and have a good time already. Obviously with comedy albums, the quality can depend on your sense of humour but if your sense of humour just happens to be like mine, you’ll really like this album.

All in all, Awkward & Depressed is a great satire of the Emo genre and is one of the best and most fun releases of this year. Go listen to it and have a laugh. Jared Alonge, please make more of this.

3.5/5 (Good)


Sonic Youth – Sonic Death (1984)


Artist: Sonic Youth

Album: Sonic Death

Year: 1984

Genres: No Wave, Noise Rock


Sonic Youth is a band I myself could never fully get into. The biggest factor for that is guitarist, bassist, and vocalist Kim Gordon. She is possibly one of the worst vocalists I’ve ever had the misfortune of hearing. Her delivery is consistently bland and uninspiring, bringing down any song that she appears in as the dull delivery of her vocals never demands any attention nor deserves any. And unfortunately, Kim Gordon’s boring, mundane vocals happen to spring up in almost all of Sonic Youth’s discography. Her bass and guitar playing are fine by the way, it’s just her poor vocal performances that manage to outweigh any sort of instrumental prowess she has.

Whereas Gordon’s voice never fully enabled me to really enjoy or be blown away by any of Sonic Youth’s studio material, it is this live album right here, Sonic Death, that manages to hit it out of the park for me. On this live endeavour, Gordon barely makes any vocal appearances (thank the lord) with other lead vocalist of the band, Thurston Moore, stepping up to a lot of the singing responsibilities here. And whereas Thurston can at points sound bland and uninspired just like Gordon, he is still able to achieve some pure moments of raw passion on this album, something I think that Gordon was never able to achieve.

Now, Sonic Youth has gone through a lot of phases as a band, and this album was recorded during their first phase, their “no wave” phase. Their days of societal and sexual frustrations shown from their first release, their self-titled EP. All the way to their last no-wave effort, EVOL. Whereas their next phase after EVOL would involve Sonic Youth delving into a more alternative sound, most strongly demonstrated on their 1988 hallmark album, Daydream Nation. Their next phase after that (starting in 1995) would have Sonic Youth incorporating a much more experimental sound into their work, with the band establishing a new line of albums/EPs that would be included in their SYR (Sonic Youth Recordings) series, which definitely took a major turn from their previous work as it was mainly instrumental, much more experimental, and completely different than what Sonic Youth had ever done before.

Although some of the SYR’s were definitely hit and miss, it added a whole new sound to the Sonic Youth catalogue and freshened up their sound, allowing them to freely re-invent themselves. (Well, for a short time at least, before they went off to trying to remake Daydream Nation.) And do you want to know what their biggest precursor was to their experimental work? Yep, you guessed it, this bad boy right here. Sonic Death. When it comes to Sonic Death, it is a very mixed bag when it comes to defining just in fact what the hell it is. Upon first listen, depending on who you are, it can sound like poorly-recorded pretentious garbage. Or it can sound like an eerily beautiful, aural translation of a fever dream. I, of course, being the pretentious nerd that I am, go with the latter.

On this album, Sonic Youth play their catalogue from their No Wave era (with a little hint of free improvisation thrown in), but in this whole new twisted demented way that manages to spark new life into the songs. The lo-fi recording of their performances make the action feel so dissonant yet so hypnotising, adding so much more to the experience. Sonic Youth even play around with some sound collage here believe it or not, adding to the fever dream-like quality of the album. There is also no track listing to be found here either, so most of the time, you are entirely blind as to what they could be playing, and the “songs” they perform here barely even segue into the other, sometimes just stopping abruptly and diving head first right into the next one, adding this new layer of chaos and unpredictability to the music. The album at times can seem more like an insight into a demented person’s stream of consciousness rather than an actual commercial product, which can taken how you please.

All in all, Sonic Death is a noisy beast that spans for over an hour, and during that entire time, expect to be captivated by the haunting nature of the music and the amazing dissonance of these amazing re-tellings of their songs. Unfortunately, a physical version of this album can be very hard to come by, but there has been a full version uploaded to YouTube. Although this album isn’t for the faint of heart, I believe that it should be essential listening for any avant-garde nuts out there.

4/5 (Great)

Unwound – Unwound (1995)


Artist: Unwound

Album: Unwound

Year: 1995

Genres: Post-Hardcore, Noise Rock


When people bring up the post-hardcore genre, the first bands that usually spring up in people’s minds might be those along the likes of Fugazi, Husker Du, Big Black, Drive Like Jehu or mclusky. But the first name that always pops up in my mind is always “Unwound”. Running rampant through the 90’s with classic album after classic album, people have always been torn up about which one is their best. Could it possibly be the mellow, math rock-influenced tendencies of New Plastic Ideas? Perhaps the sharp, angular, memorable melodies of Leaves Turn Inside You? Or perhaps the loud, brash, anxious sound of Repetition? While all these Unwound fans flaunt their superior albums, I have always seemed to be in the minority when it comes to their debut album.

Whereas all of their other albums are usually defended with as much keyboard warrior battle that is necessary, it always appears as though no-one bats an eye towards their self-titled (which was meant to be their debut by the way, but was then held off for later release). I believe that this is truly their greatest album and I know that by saying that, I have basically summoned a legion of butt-hurt Unwound fans right to my doorstep but I truly believe that this could really be their greatest endeavour.

When I picture what pure, raw punk sounds like, I always think of this album of the greatest example of that. This album is unrelenting when it comes to it’s pace, barely ever losing a step in its bare, raw ferocity and when we do get to more down tempo, more slow-paced tracks like “Stuck in the Middle of Nowhere Again” and “Fingertips”, it always is just to build back up to that unrelenting pace that is spread across the entire album. Building back up to those crazy, memorable, energetic songs like “Warmth” and “You Bite My Tongue”. Just from the first half of the first track “Antifreeze”, you can tell you’re in a wild, fast ride.

Another great thing about this album is how concise and straight-forward it is. Coming into this album, Unwound knew what they wanted to do, and that was to make a kick-ass album, and it all goes for under 30 minutes, the usual length of an LP. No song on here feels like it overstays its welcome, with the longest track on here only being about three and a half minutes long. I will admit though, disappointingly, the last track on here, “Kandy Korn Rituals”, is easily the worst on this entire thing, which is sad as a closer should usually end up being one of the BEST songs on your album. Instead of ending the album on a last, great “Huzzah!”, it sort of just… Ends… Yeah… Pretty disappointing…

All in all, Unwound’s self titled is a seriously great, under-rated title and a hidden gem of the post-hardcore genre that not enough people know about and appreciate. Check it out if you haven’t already, it’s only under half an hour, so what do you have to lose?

4.5/5 (Amazing)